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BUILDING GENUINE CONNECTIONS

June 13th, 2023

READ TIME: 3.5 minutes

I’ll never forget the teachers that I had in grade school that changed my perspective on life.

We all had at least one.

The teacher who believed in you.

Affirmed you.

Asked you questions about your life.

They gave you hope.

There’s one that I can specifically recall that did the same for me.

I’m a curious guy and I like to ask a lot of questions. Almost to a fault.

This wasn’t just something I started doing in my adult life, it really started in grade school.

I am that, “But why?” kid.

I always had questions to ask and my classmates weren’t happy because I kept the class longer.

With each subsequent hand raise, I could feel the glares and feelings of animosity from the students at my back.

No-one likes the kid who asks questions.

I got discouraged and my teacher could see it. Until she kept me after one day and told me one simple thing that gave me confidence.

“Don’t stop asking questions.”

She affirmed that my curiosity was actually a strength and that it was valuable to be curious.

Today we’re in a corporate world that feels like this sometimes.

Don’t ask questions.

Don’t be curious.

Just do your job.

But what people don’t get is that curiosity is the beginning of all great change.

Not only that, curiosity is the beginning of connection.

If you’ve ever felt like me before, you’re not alone and today I’m going to dive into why curiosity is a super power and give you 10 questions to strengthen your connections with your teams.

Where curiosity can go wrong

A lot of people aren’t used to having questions asked of them for good reasons.

Especially in the corporate setting usually it’s

• Why did this happen?

• How can we ensure this doesn’t happen?

• Why didn’t we think of this?

Asking questions can sometimes come off as attacking and it makes people close up.

Expecially when you ask alot of questions in a row people can feel as if you’re probing.

This was something that I had to learn early in my career is that not everybody knows who I am and they don’t know that Pierre from 5th grade.

So I started to change my approach to asking questions.

How to be curious

When done tastefully, asking questions on a regular basis can actually lead to deep connection with your teams.

Here’s how I ask questions in a way that does just that:

• I preface with acknowledgement that I like to ask alot of questions
  
  “I just want to let you know I’m not probing I just genuinely care and I like to ask a lot of questions.”
  
  Boom, walls instantly dropped.
  
  

• Then I follow up with an open-ended question
  
  “ How is it going?”
  
  To which response I receive usually is
  
  “Good.”
  
  

• Then I say, “No really, how are you?”
  
  Important:
  
  Maintain eye contact, let them know you actually care to hear about them.

Once you get to this point they will have likely shared how they actually are doing which always you to start a genuine conversation.

10 Connection-Driven Questions to Ask

It’s not always easy to come up with questions on the spot, so here’s 10 questions I like to use to drive communication with my teams.

1. What are your biggest professional goals and aspirations?

2. What projects or tasks energize you the most?

3. How do you prefer to receive feedback and recognition?

4. What are some hobbies or interests you enjoy outside of work?

5. Are there any skills or areas you would like to develop further?

6. How do you typically approach problem-solving or decision-making?

7. What support or resources do you need to excel in your role?

8. How do you like to collaborate with others?

9. What challenges or obstacles have you encountered in your work?

10. How can we better support each other as a team?

I hope this helps you or a leader in your circle.

Until next time, PierreInspires

P.S. If you have any questions, thoughts, or additional stories to share, please don't hesitate to reach out. Let's support and learn from each other as we strive to become the best leaders we can be.

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